In the split-second world of swipes, it’s often not your photos but your first message that decides your match fate. A simple “Hi” is the default blank document—safe, but boring. In the ocean of messages, it’s easily lost.
A great icebreaker is more than a greeting—it’s a tiny reflection of your personality, a hook that makes someone think, “Wow, this person seems fun.”
Core principle: Show yourself, don’t extract info. Your goal is to start a light, fun conversation—not conduct an interrogation.
Why “Hi” Is Killing Your Match Chances
Safe but Boring
A simple “Hi” might feel polite, but it’s forgettable. In a sea of messages, it doesn’t stand out.
Your First Message is a Hook
The opener sets the tone for your interaction. A clever or playful start can spark curiosity and make the other person want to reply.
Show Yourself, Don’t Extract Info
Instead of asking questions like “Where do you work?” or “How tall are you?” aim to create a space for shared laughter, storytelling, and personality.
Tier 1: Observation Wins – Personalized Comments
Thoughtful, specific comments are key, especially for polyamorous and unicorn communities. They show you’ve actually read the profile.
Comment on Photos & Hobbies
- Guitar pic: “Guess your first closing song—‘Wonderwall’ or ‘Billie Jean’? Guess right and I owe you a coffee.”
- Hiking/travel: “This view is amazing! Bet your backpack has secret snacks better than energy bars.”
- Pet pic: “Do I need your cat’s permission before we chat, or just yours?”
- Reading: “Quick game—your favorite character in [book]? Guess right and you share a secret from your reading list; guess wrong and I’ll share mine.”
Comment on Bio & Tags
- Funny bio: “Your intro almost made me laugh out loud in public—I might owe strangers an explanation now.”
- Profession: “Caught a designer! Serious question: is Photoshop’s clone stamp the greatest human invention ever?”
- Foodie tag: “Emergency poll! Are you Team Classic Margherita or Team Meaty Supreme? Or is there a secret menu item I absolutely have to know about?”
Tier 2: Use “We” to Create a Light, Shared Vibe
When the profile is sparse, focus on your shared context. This creates subtle camaraderie and reduces awkwardness.
Self-Deprecating Humor
- “We’re participating in this modern ritual of matching and awkwardly finding things to talk about—isn’t it cute and slightly cringe? 🤔”
- “Heard the best opener here isn’t ‘Hi’ but ‘We finally matched! Quick, tell me why the algorithm sent you to me today?’”
- “You’ve probably seen 100 ‘Hi’s already. So I’ll make #101 a smile 😊. How’s your day?”
This-or-That Fun Questions
- “Quick—bubble tea or coffee? Sets the tone for our chat.”
- “To break the ice: 1. Reveal a weird skill. 2. Share a recent photo from your phone.”
- “If we got stuck in an elevator, what would be your first chat topic?”
Tier 3: Show Curiosity – High-Quality Conversation Starters
Better than “What do you do?” these prompts encourage storytelling and sharing passions.
The Power of “Recently”
- “Forget ‘Hi’ and ‘Have you eaten?’—what’s one thing recently that genuinely made you laugh?”
- “Seen a movie, show, or read a book lately that made you want to call someone and gush about it?”
Digging into Passions
- “Besides work or dating, what makes you lose track of time completely?”
- “If you had a totally free afternoon, how would you spend it?”
Action Tips & Pitfalls
Do This
- Keep it short—1-2 sentences are enough.
- Match energy—funny profile = funny opener; artsy = poetic.
- End with a hook—a question gives a clear reply path.
Avoid This
- Empty “Hi” or “Hey there”—conversation killers.
- Over-commenting on looks—use playful or observational compliments instead.
- Negative vibes—don’t vent frustrations.
- Interrogation-style questions—like height, job, or address; save for later.
Mindset Reminder: Not Every Message Will Get a Reply
Even the best opener may go unanswered—maybe they’re not active, in a bad mood, or just swiped without looking. This doesn’t mean your message or you are bad. The goal is to find people whose vibe truly matches yours.
So put down the “Hi,” and send a message that makes you smile. Happy matching, poly & unicorn singles and couples!
CouplesAndUnicorns
- Connect with like-minded singles & couples.
- Discover local Unicorns, Dragons & Bulls
- Enjoy safe, playful, and real-world unicorn dating
