I never thought I’d end up here, exploring the poly scene in London. Honestly, the first few weeks were a mix of excitement and confusion. Where do you even start? How do you meet couples who are actually looking for a unicorn? And how do you make sure you don’t accidentally step on anyone’s toes?
The thing I quickly learned is that being upfront about what you want makes life so much easier. I don’t mean in a formal “here’s a contract” way, just being honest about whether I was looking for something casual or more serious. Most couples I met really appreciated that, and it made hanging out with them much more relaxed.
Boundaries took me a little longer to figure out. At first, I thought I could just “go with the flow,” but every couple has their own little rules. I remember one couple laughing at me because I overstepped a tiny thing I didn’t even know about. After that, I started asking more questions and paying attention, and it honestly made everything more fun.
Spending time with each partner individually helped too. It’s not about competing for attention—though I definitely worried about that in the beginning—but about finding your own place in the dynamic. Some of my best moments were just sitting and chatting with one of them while the other was busy, then joining together for something we all enjoyed.
I also learned to check in with myself. Being part of a poly relationship can get emotional, and I had to remind myself that it’s okay to step back if I felt uncomfortable or needed space. Writing down how I felt, or just venting to friends online, made a big difference.
Sex and intimacy? Patience is key. I thought I had to rush into it at first, but that just caused awkwardness. Now, I focus on building comfort and trust first. It makes the actual connection feel way better, and the laughs and small moments become more memorable.
I’ve also started going to small meetups and events around London. It’s amazing how welcoming people can be when you’re genuine. Meeting other unicorns and poly couples, just sharing experiences and stories, has made me feel part of something bigger.
Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. Being a unicorn in London isn’t just about dating or fun—it’s about learning about yourself, navigating relationships in a new way, and finding people who value honesty and respect. It’s messy, funny, sometimes confusing, but really rewarding.
My Advice for New Unicorns 🦄
Do:
- Be honest about your intentions from the start. Casual, serious, short-term—say it out loud.
- Ask about boundaries and rules early. Everyone’s dynamic is different, and clarity avoids awkward moments.
- Spend quality time with each partner individually. It helps you connect and understand each person better.
- Check in with yourself regularly. Journaling, talking to friends, or taking breaks is healthy.
- Build comfort and trust before rushing intimacy. Emotional connection makes everything better.
- Attend small meetups or events. Genuine curiosity and friendliness go a long way.
- Respect the couple’s dynamic, but also remember your needs matter.
Don’t:
- Assume all couples operate the same way. What worked for one may not work for another.
- Ignore red flags or your own discomfort. Saying “no” or stepping back is okay.
- Compete for attention—focus on creating your own meaningful moments.
- Rush into sexual encounters just to fit in. Pressure leads to awkwardness, not connection.
- Hide your feelings or frustrations—communication prevents misunderstandings.
- Forget that being a unicorn is about mutual respect, not just fun.
Trust your instincts, be yourself, and don’t overthink. The right people and dynamics will make it feel natural. London’s poly scene can be intimidating at first, but with honesty, patience, and respect, it’s also full of rewarding experiences.